I have always known God.

As a small child, Jesus loved me, this I knew.  I prayed the Lord my soul would keep and if I died before I woke, I prayed the Lord my soul would take. I obeyed my parents in the Lord, for this was right, regardless of what they did or said to do. Singing give me oil in my lamp keep it burning and there’s a fountain flowing deep and wide, I learned to accept what I was told, even if it had no meaning.

As an older child, God would take me to heaven at the rapture if I was saved; otherwise I would get left behind.  When everything was quiet, I would frantically find someone still around.   It never occurred to me that the person I found may have been an infidel who got left behind.  Good thing I wasn’t taught to think things out, or I may not have survived the fear.

The God of my teenage years knew my every move; my every thought. It was impossible to sin without His knowledge. I sang blessed assurance Jesus is mine.  Why was I so blessed to have Big Brother for a Jesus?

As a young woman, I knew God as a way of life.  He was always right and His code was my code. I knew Him so well that I knew when others were wrong. My judgement
was swift and sharp as a sword. God led the battle and I was a soldier in the
Lord’s army.

God’s Holy Word was my guide and I certainly knew God’s Word because I was given it at church each week and on Christian radio each day.  I didn’t have to search for God or for truth, because it was done for me. If I walked down the isle, I was instantly saved from hell.

God never changes.  That is what I was taught.  I learned the Bible said if I spared the rod I would spoil my child; that interracial marriage was a sin; that God punishes the wicked and Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality. Funny how I can’t find those things in my Bible now.  Did God change after all?  No, God didn’t change, but God changed me. By grace. God is my journey. He is my neighbor’s journey. I don’t have to be perfect; I just have to wait on God. I let go of trying to know God and, instead, let God be in me. The rest takes care of itself. God set me free to know Him. Jesus taught this and His example changed the world. I follow Christ, but it is hard for me to call myself a
Christian. And that really doesn’t matter after all.

Our background and circumstances influence who we are, but it doesn’t have to
dictate who we become.

Love and peace during this season of Lent,

Pamela Pouncy