I am not a planner. That probably doesn’t come as a surprise to many of you.

When it comes to travel I make all my plans at the last minute and I make sure they are flexible because who knows what might come up to alter your plans.

In a way, I take heart in my lack of planning. The old saying makes sense to me, that “when people plan, God laughs.”

I’m not much of a planner but when I look back on my life, it makes sense. Even with all the mistakes I have made along the way, I can see some intelligent design, and the intelligence is not mine.

I’m not much of a planner but I’ve learned that God always has plans for me. Over time, I have become much more intentional in listening to the Spirit whispering to me, nudging me, urging me, cajoling me, inviting me, maybe at times even howling at me when I just wouldn’t get it.

I have learned to listen to God. Sometimes I get very clear direction in my dreams or from the wisdom of others. Other times I just know, I just know that it is God leading me along a path.

When I was seeking ordination, I began to wonder if I was hearing God’s voice or my own. I had just about decided to withdraw from the ordination process when three leaders at a national gathering of multi-faith activists sought me out to say that God had led them to urge me to stay in the ordination process.

I took that as a sign that could be trusted.

When I first thought about starting this church, I began to wonder if I was hearing God’s voice, or my own. So I stopped, And I waited. I recited to myself, Be still and know that I am God.

I waited for 7 months and then in one week, three people asked me to start a church with them.

I took that as a sign that could be trusted.

The Spirit of God led me to create a church of the Beloved, a church of Jesus Christ, a church where all God’s people would feel Beloved.

God did not lead me to start the Church of Angie Wright, and I have had to remind myself and remind you of that from time to time.

From the time I started Beloved Community Church, I have always known that, just as God led me to create the church, there would come a time when God would lead me to release the church. There would come a time for me to release and entrust the church to someone who could shepherd it into its full blossoming. For 15 years I have prayed that God would guide me in knowing when it was the right time for me to leave, and how to leave well.

I have prayed deeply, and heard clearly, that the time has come for me to go. It is time for me to turn over the role of shepherd and guide to someone else. I will be your pastor through the holidays and until the middle of January, and then my time as your pastor will come to an end.

I am weary. I am running on empty. I have given you my all. I’ve taken you as far as I know how to do. And my family needs more of me at this time.

But if it was just that, I could take a break, I could take a sabbatical. It is much more than that. I have heard very clearly that, after almost 16 years, the longer I stay, the more dependent the church will become on me, and I know that is not what God intends.

I am not leaving to go anywhere else. I don’t know what God has in store for me; I do know God isn’t finished with me yet.

I also know these things:

I know that Beloved Community is God’s church, not mine.

I know that you are Beloved Community, not me.

I know that you and Beloved Community are held in the palms of God’s hands and the embrace of God’s arms and that God will not ever let you go.

I also know that this news is very hard to hear. It is very hard for me to say.

I feel a deep sadness, as I know you do. I am afraid, as I know you are, because we don’t know what the future holds.

But we do know that God holds our future.

These words have given me assurance:

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  -Jeremiah 29:11

I have left and I have been left and neither is easy. You may have been deeply wounded by someone’s leaving at some time in your life. I want you to consider that this is not like that. This is not your father’s leaving you. This is not your divorce. This is not a death. This is the natural order of things.

To everything there is a time, to everything there is a season.

This is a time for you to be the church, this is a time for you to be the body of Christ, God’s hands and feet and voice in this community and world. As you have always done.

As I often tell you I believe each of you is here and connected to Beloved Community for a reason and a purpose.

Your Church Council, along with the Conference office, will guide you through a prayerful, thoughtful, inclusive process to find that person whom God has already annointed to step in after me.

They will need your voice.

They will need your presence.

They will need your help.

For all that is ahead, remember what the angels always say when they show up at your door. The first thing they say is, “Fear not.” The second thing they say is, God is with you. God is with you through it all.”

That is a promise. It’s a promise that can be trusted.